Taylor

This poor girl is dancing her heart and soul out, she has a lot of parts in this years Nutcracker, and then she will start rehearsals, for the February show, I think that she is wearing herself down, just my opinion, but we keep talking about being under this pressure and dancing seven days a week, and if she wants to take a break, of course the answer is always a NO!  I hope she can keep up, this ballet thing is so competitive, and the parents are so driven to push their children at all costs.  I find that sad, your drive should really come from you and what you want in life, not what your parents want you to do.  Being the best is NOT the most important thing in the world, trying your best is.  I so wish more people could grasp this concept!

Autism

I try to always see this as a  positive, but it can be hard, and guess what today is one of those hard days.  We are on meltdown number three, and it is only noon, this one is because someone touched something that belonged to her and it moved by I kid you not, two inches!!!! This has resulted, in a complete and utter breakdown, she is in tears, bawling her eyes out, kicking, screaming, well you get the idea.  She is sitting on my bed so that we can both take a time out!!!!!  I love her to death, and love most of the gifts autism brought to our life, but days like today, I wish with all my heart I could make it go away, for her to not be so bothered by the little things that other people can just look past.  It is not so simple for her.

June 8, 2002

Here it is you are two and in love with Blues Clues, we have that dog everywhere we go!!! You also love monkeys and dancing.  Grandma took you to see the nutcracker about six months ago and you have been in love dance since then.  I bought all the Nutcrackers at Smiths for you because you broke one at Brett and Kate's house on Christmas Eve and well you cried your eyes out, so they are stashed in the linen closet now for quick replacement.  You love all things pink, glittery, and dance related.  You will be starting your first dance class this week, and we are both thrilled.  We go and do every thing together since brother is in school now, and you have become my best friend.  I enjoy watching the world through your eyes, you and your brother are so different, you never seem scared to try anything, you just give it your best.  This is a bit terrifying for me, but I love that you are so strong and independent.  It makes me giggle, we are a lot a like in this way, and you are very headstrong....much like me!  We will see how that plays out in about ten years! Happy Birthday Tater Tot! 

Love, 

Mom

January 20, 1998

We have a boy, a real boy!  Who loves to play tractors, fire engines, and of course play gas station in your cozy coupe, this is the year we will be hitting the terrible twos, but wow, being your mother has not been terrible, you are sweet, very shy, and so lovable.  I see you have this seriousness about all you do, nothing seems to go unnoticed by you, you  pay attention to everything that is around you, even hesitate when you feel out of place, I suppose that will be your personality for awhile now, it is fine with me, I actually enjoy watching you, it is like you think everything through before you try something new.  I love this about you, I hope you never lose it!  You love green and love being outside, we build roads in the dirt, and then you come in to clean up right away, because well that is who you are, you do not mind the dirt, but it seems like you want it off as soon as you are done, a boy after his mothers heart.  You are counting to three now, learning colors, and just being so much fun to be around.  Happy Birthday Sweet Son!

Love,
Mom

Pictures

Some newer family pictures, Tater Tot is missing of course because she is at dance prepping for The Nutcracker!!!!

Happy went for a ride too

The beautiful ride through the Jemez, I love this place!

Fenton Lake, it is amazing fun to spend time here!

My babies feet, well he is not a baby anymore!!!! 

The "little fishies" Isaac wanted to catch and bring them all home, they stayed, lesson learned from our little lizard.

The goof ball!

Self Employment

Allow me to explain the difference to those of you who are confused, when begging me to hire you, "because you NEED a job", please be sure it is a job you want and not a pay check, there is a BIG difference between the two!!! A job, requires you to put forth effort, work as hard as I do, if not harder, and most importantly requires you to show up and treat my clients in a courteous and respectful manner!  A pay check is money, for work that you did, and hopefully did well, there is a difference between wanting a job and wanting a paycheck.  Now I understand that my business is not for everyone, but it is a job and one with insurance!!!! It is hard to come by these days, as you may know!

So, what I am trying to say is this, do not come to me if you are looking for a paycheck, I am VERY TIRED of wasting my time and efforts to train you and many others like you, for you to quit.  I am not hard to work for, I just want you to do a great job, show up, be honest, and do what I am paying you to do.... I am sick of training people and then they quit, I am not wasting any more time, like my grandfather says if you want the job done right do it yourself, it may take me an extra 30 to 45 minutes a night but I am more exhausted from all the drama of people who want a pay check, that extra time is NOTHING.  However, if you are looking for a JOB, please feel free to apply, if you plan to stay for 6 months or longer, if not do not bother, I have better things to do with my time!


I just do not understand people, I worked to get where I am today, no it did not fall into my lap, and I am grateful that I did, or it probably would not mean as much as it does to me.  Hard work pays off!  I am sure I am not the only business owner who feels this way, so just remember when applying for that JOB, it is going to require a small amount of effort on your part to keep it, and please small business owners are BUSY, you wasting their time is cruel!

This AMAZING woman I love

Well here she is, the woman I love and adore with my heart and soul, my grandmother, she gets me, she understands, she even went with us to buy the lizard a cage, she probably knew he would die, but she did not tell me, because she lets me live, and probably had fun watching the kids get all excited about having a lizard, she treasures the small things.  I love when she sends me old pictures in the mail, or a note, and when she comes to visit, I get so excited to see what new picture she has for me! I can laugh with her, cry with her, be strong for her (she always knows when I am faking), but most importantly, she lets me fall apart when I need to and says this same thing, I am always here for you dear.   I love her, for the amazing woman she is and has been, she has been through a lot herself, yet she remains strong for her family, sometimes we share the same tears, and I see her fall apart just a little, I love that about her because it shows she is a real woman, someone who feels and loves deeply.  I am grateful I have her, even happier I call her Grandma!!!!

Her and Grandpa, before he was too sick! He too was amazing, I miss him terribly!

Grandpa and Grandma together with Brandyn.  

Politics

This has been the first year in a long time I have not been actively following the election coverage, minute by minute and I am at peace with this decision, I am grateful not to be posting anti this, pro this, on my Facebook, well, I still do but not like I did.  I am learning so much more in this election year than I ever have in my life and I am loving it!  I have seen so much hate, people discussing abortions for babies conceived from rape (yes apparently not all women can shut their bodies down, despite reports to the contrary), health care, the war, the list goes on and on, but you know where I stand on these....... Here is my question what can we do to help??? Are we being generous to our friends, families, strangers, and what about starving families, children, or even foster children.  I am grateful for what our family has been blessed with, and I am sad for what we have lost, but guess what there is always someone in a way worse situation, ALWAYS.......

This past week we were at Furr's Cafeteria, and a young man who could not have been older than twenty asked if we had SPARE CHANGE so he could eat dinner, my daughter piped up and said you don't need change my mom will buy you dinner, we did!  He looked so grateful and happy I had tears streaming down my face, when he asked me if I wanted my change, I refused and said no.  I have never been one to hand out money and this young man taught me a lesson I will never forget, he just wanted a meal, just a meal, he was not trying to steal from me, rob me, go buy liquor, he sat down, offered me my change and ate.....what a beautiful picture it was!  

So please let us all remember do not judge, do not assume you know someone or their circumstances, when we do we usually are wrong!