August 25, 2005

Savannah,
Oh this year has been ever so challenging, we are moving this weekend, but I found my journals, so I am taking a break to write your birthday letter.  This year we have struggled with you on so many ways, the doctors are trying to figure out what is medically wrong with you, we have spent time in the NICU after you had your shots, which by the way you are not fond of, and we find ourselves at The Children's Clinic every week, sometimes more.  I am tired, you are tired and well, I am looking forward to the day that you no longer are on antibiotics for a period of more than three days.  It is so different watching you grow up, your brother and sister were so HEALTHY, yet here you are and you to me you seem so fragile.  I long and pray for answers to your health mysteries, I just want to see you happy and healthy.  You are walking, first one to walk before age one in the family, CONGRATULATIONS, you love your family, you seem to want to make everyone smile, at least on your good days.  We have spent much of your first year indoors at home, trying to get you healthy and back on track, so our favorite things are books, and you are taking up coloring, well you like to try and eat crayons.  I wish I had the answers your body is needing, I feel like a failure in this regard as a mother, but I have faith we will find answers that will make you blossom, we are off to UNM in a few months, and should know more than, but until we do KEEP FIGHTING! I love you so very much, thank you for keeping me strong, but exhausted, you mean the world to us!

Love,
Momma